Job 2-19, How To Show Up For Hurting Friends

Job 2-19, How To Show Up For Hurting Friends
1. Show A Deep Knowledge Of God (Job 2:9-10)
2. Show Kindness Consistently (Job 6:14-17)
3. Show Wisdom With Silence (Job 13:4-5)
4. Show Compassion To Comfort (Job 16:1-7)
5. Show Restraint In Your Words (Job 19:1-6)

Pastor Jerry Simmons teaching Job 2-19, How To Show Up For Hurting Friends

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Well before we get into the Book of Job this morning, I wanted to take a moment and show you this image.

This is where I was last week.

It's Calvary Chapel into the light in La Habra and thank you, Rick, for sharing in my absence.

And Rick did a great job bringing forth the word and.

Sharing how God worked in his life and I was here bringing forth the word and sharing some of the things that got to put on my heart.

Thank you for your prayers, but as you look at this picture Calvary Chapel into the light, I would ask you to consider and perhaps even a little bit different than usual.

Perhaps see out loud.

As you look at this image, there's the church you see on the left, the.

Building there the street.

Where this picture is taken from?

What would you say is the speed limit on this street?

2525 can I?

Get 30 no, it's skinny.

25 miles an hour now just by show of hands. How many of you have ever been to Calvary Chapel into the light?

No hands for the record.

Oh Matthew.

One hand one hand for the record is raised.

The people in the recording or online can't see the congregation right.

They can't even see me right now.

They can only see this image, but one hand raised saying they've been there.

Yet kind of amazing that.

You were able to say the speed limit on this road is 25 miles an hour. How is it that you're able to identify that?

I wonder if that continues on if you just.

Know all speed.

Limits automatically let me show you another picture.

Looking at this picture just.

If you could be a little bit audible and speak your mind, what would you say is the speed limits?

Here on this road.


Can I hear 30?

No, just kidding.

Yes, actually that is true.

This is the home I grew up on here in Riverside, and it is a residential area.

The speed limit is.

25 miles this is pretty astounding. How many of you have ever been to my childhood home?

No hands being raised, so more maybe.

Some of the old school youth, but.

They're probably Johns.

Already gone, so yeah, probably none of you have been to my childhood home and so I think it's amazing that having never been there you're able to identify what the speed limit would be.

Let's see how well you do as.

We continue on.

Looking at this picture here, what would you suggest?

Is the speed limit now the signs there?

But conveniently, I've covered up the amounts right?

So we get to test your accuracy here, right on the spot?

What would you think is the speed limit for this particular Rd?

80 whoa.

I'm not saying how fast you would drive on it, I'm saying what would the posted sign say?


I heard a few ranges. Here's the real speed limit. 65 miles an hour. This is a highway fairly new over up near my parents house in Carson City and how many have you been to Carson City? Maybe a couple? No no.

Couple yeah couple couple.

And yet I did hear 65 some people got it right. You were able to discern what the speed limit was.

I wonder how much this can continue.

OK, here we go.

Here's another picture.

What do you think about the speed limit for this road?

45 I hear a lot of 40 fives. OK, good, well actually you look at it and the speed limit is indeed 45. Now this is a road that is right outside of the church Calvary Chapel, Williamsburg, where Pastor, Tom and Gene Hallman are how many of you have been to Williamsburg.

A couple 234 right and yet many of you were able to look at this and identify you've never been there, but you're able to identify the speed limit.

How about this one?

US 95 going up the middle of Nevada.

Any idea now you're going for 80, right?

Speed limit on this road is 70. I love this road. In some places you can even hit, you know speed limits where there's 75.

This one is interesting because I was this is Google Street View right?

And so I was like going down the road in Street View trying to find a speed limit sign to be able to do this demonstration here and.

You can see from the perspective of this picture.

Here the the Google car is in oncoming traffic clean because what you don't see just before this frame, there's a car that's going slow, and so I don't know they cracked me up.

Anyway, I saw this the the Google Street View car past like 6 cars in a semi in order to get this shot right here of the the open Rd.

So 70 miles an hour down that road.

OK, one last one.

What do you think about this street would be the the speed limit here?

This is pretty local Indiana.

You might be familiar with it.

What do you think?


35 we're in the.

Ballpark the speed limit is 40.

Miles an hour so.

3545 right in there?

Yes, good job.

Alright, so interesting to look at this and to consider that you looking at images of places you've never been are able to get pretty close to.

Understanding what the speed limit is.

For that particular place.

Now, why would I take you through this exercise and spend that time on that this morning?

You have learned to discern the speed limit by the context of what you're looking at.

And yes, the speed limit signs are posted, and that helps many times.

But just by the very context of the situation that you're in, it helps you to understand and discern what the speed limit is.

And I think that's a really helpful illustration.

When it comes to interpreting and understanding the scriptures, I want to encourage you to become as familiar with the scriptures as you are with the streets and learn the speed limits so that you can get to a passage of scripture and and just by the nature of the context.

Of what you're experiencing, be able to understand the the best of.

Approach to that Scripture, Paul tells us in Timothy that all Scripture is inspired of God and all Scripture is useful for us to bring us to completion to bring us to maturity we we need all of it, but at the same time we need to understand that not all Scripture carries the same weight.

Not every verse in the Bible carries the same weight as other verses in the Bible that we need to learn to discern the context of the passages that we're reading to be able to understand how to receive that verse and what to do with it, how to apply it, and to understand what it is.

That the Lord wants to speak to us about.

But, and this is particularly true when we come to this section in the Old Testament where we are in what is known as the poetic books, the poetic books are a collection of different types of Hebrew poetry that are recorded.

For us and.

They are included in the scripture because they are inspired by God.

But at the same time as we look at this, we need to understand it's inspired by God, but also is a particular type of writing that changes a little bit the way that we process and the way that we evaluate what it.

Is that is being?

And so as we look at job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and Song of Solomon, we need to really pay close attention to the context to be really looking around at the surroundings to be evaluating and understanding that there are some certain things that God would have us to factor in as we consider the verses that we.

Consider for example.

If you go back to the very first book in the Bible, the Book of Genesis, there in the Garden of Eden, you have the words that the serpent spoke to Eve recorded there.

Now what?

The serpent spoke.

To Eve was a lie.

You shall not surely die, the serpent said.

To eve, right?

It was not the truth, and yet it's recorded in the scripture, so you need to understand that the scripture records some lies, not that the Bible teaches lies or teaches us to lie, but it actually records some of the events and and things that transpired.

In the context of the situation that the Bible is presenting to us, and so you can't.

Just take that verse.

Quoting from the serpent and says, here's what God says and applied that same weight to something that Jesus said directly.

For example, that there are some things that you just take at face value, because here is what God has said.

He clearly said this is my heart.

This is what I want.

This is what I say.

But there's also a lot of passages where, for example, in the parables where it takes a little bit of effort and meditation and consideration to be able to draw from.

The the passage what it is that God wants to say it is intending to say and and so here as we look at the book of Job, this is really important for us because it records the words of job.

It records the words of.

Job, friends and it records some of the surrounding events that transpired between the enemy.

And God himself in heaven.

And so there's different contexts happening.

And depending on the context, well it changes the weights that we apply to the verses that we're reading and and this is really just a general exhortation in regards to reading the scriptures and reading through the Book of Job and the prophetic or the poetic books, because we we need to understand as we continue.

Gone through the Bible in three years.

That different passages?

It's appropriate to evaluate them according to the context that they are in and where the person is coming from and where they're at in their journey and in their walk with God, and so looking at the book of.

Job which of course.

Is a challenging book for us.

Many times I understand it can be quite a challenge.

And I I do sometimes consider like maybe we should.

Spend a lot more time in job, but I'm not going to do that to you, but perhaps you do need to.

Or you do want to and you desire to look into these things a bit further.

And so I wanted to just point out on our website if you go to living water corona com slash job it will bring up for you all of the teachings that we have.

Recorded on the Book of Job and You can also substitute job for any book of the Bible, by the way.

But if you, if you particularly want to look at the Book of Job and try to evaluate some things and get a deeper understanding between the back and forth and the different types of conversations that are going on and the the truths that are being told and the lies that are being.

Told there's a few resources there, a few teachings for you to kind of go.

Back and spend a little bit more time meditating on these things to.

Help give you.

A little bit more context so that you can next time through or next time you know you find yourself spending time in the book of Job, understand and discern the context a bit to be able to understand how to receive, how to parse.

And how to interpret the passage?

That is before you.

Well, all of that is not to necessarily speak to the point of today's message, but I did want to spend some time encouraging you in that that we need to develop and not just for the book of job, but for the Scriptures itself.

Learn to understand and evaluate the context of the situation that is going on, that we don't just pull out something.

And say this is what God says, but that we understand there's more going on.

And again, the context, like a speed limit, really sets the parameters for how fast we take and apply those things and how much we put them into effect in our lives.

Some things are for our instruction directly and some things are for us to learn from the examples of others at what not to do.

But what I really want to focus on this morning as we continue on, we're going to be again here in job Chapter 2, working our way through a few chapters through Chapter 19 and the.

Title that I've given the message for this morning is.

How to show up?

For herding friends, how to show up for herding friends.

In this account, we find this guy job who has been struck with great affliction.

In job chapter one we see his loss of pretty much everything except for his health and then in job chapter two we see him even lose his health and now he's in great pain.

He's in turmoil and his friends come.

They show up, but.

They really contribute to his pain instead of helping to provide comfort and healing for him. And so as you look at Job's friends, you learn a lot of what not to do.

In fact, at the end of the book job Chapter 42 you'll you'll see God rebuke his friends and say you friends have made me angry because of the way that you've spoken to job and misrepresented me.

And so you can look at jobs, friends and know they speak nonsense.

Never quote from them, never refer to them unless you're trying to show a bad example of how to represent God to people.

And So what I'd like to do this morning is to look at a few passages a few chapters out of Job's responses to his friends, so not looking at the words of his friends but looking at the words of job and what he says to the people who are there around him to help us to shape us and give us some insights into.

To how we can show up and so learning from their bad examples or learning from the instruction that job gives to his friends how to show up for friends who who are hurting.

Now this is a really important subject for us.

Because you need to know this and please meditate on this and consider this.

Don't just dismiss it right out of your head.

Religious people can be the worst friends.

Sometimes people in church are the worst friends imaginable.

I've said it before. I'll continue to say it to many of Job's friends.

Come to church and many of the lies that are told by job friends are told today in church.

Many of the the lies and the falsehoods and the nonsense and and the hurts that are given by job friends continue to be given by people around us today and in our lives today.

And many times in our religiosity.

We can be the worst to those who are hurting to those who are going through difficulty.

We can add to their pain instead of helping them and strengthening them in the midst of pain.

And so we need to hear these words from job.

To be instructed and and to develop in our capacity to Minister to one another in times of.

And so we're going to look at a few passages starting here in job Chapter 2, and let's look again at verses 9 and 10.

Here's point number one.

Show a deep knowledge.

Of God, here's the.

1st way that we can show up.

For friends who are hurting, we can show a deep knowledge of God.

Verse 9 here of job Chapter 2 says then his wife said to him, do you still hold fast your integrity, curse, God and die?

That's not the example we're looking at OK verse 10, but he said to her, you speak as one of the foolish women speaks.

Shall we indeed accept good from God?

And shall we not accept adversity?

In all, this job did not sin.

With his lips.

Here we find job and his wife.

Soon after all of these events have transpired.

He's lost.

His finances, he's lost his children.

He's lost everything.

Now he's also lost his health.

And his wife does not really provide some encouraging words here.

She says, why don't you just curse God and die? Now I would be careful and cautious about being too harsh on Job's wife. Keep in mind that she has just lost everything that.

Job is lost.

And so she is in a position of great pain and hurt as well.

And so it's not surprising, then, that she would have such strong or harsh words for job.

But it's interesting to consider Job's response to her.

He tells her you speak.

As one of the foolish women speaks.

Notice how gentle he is in replying even though she is, you know, spoken pretty harsh against him.

There's a there's a gentleness even he doesn't directly come and say you are a foolish woman.

He says you speak as one of the foolish women speaks right.

He doesn't say I hate you.

I wish you were dead.

He says, you know, the things that you're saying.

Are not so wise and what we see conveyed here even though she is in great pain and and speaking probably not on her best day.

You know she would share these same things.

But what she is revealing here in her words?

Is that she is not deep in her understanding of God.

She does not have a depth in a relationship with God and in the same way that job did.

And it's interesting to consider that right in in chapters one and two.

God presents Jove as kind of a a stand out guy.

As far as righteousness is concerned and and his relationship to God is noteworthy even before the Lord and.

Before the enemy.

But his wife, it appears, did not have that same level of relationship with God, and so she here does not fully understand God, and so even in the statement curse God and die, you could evaluate this a couple of ways trying to figure out what exactly she meant.

Did she mean for job too?

Utter out some word as a curse, and then God would immediately strike him down.

That's possibly what she meant, and if.

She meant that well it.

Would reveal that she doesn't really understand God all that well because if job had curse got in that way and just uttered a word curse against.

God God wasn't going to strike him with lightning at that time.

That that is not typically how God responds to that kind of.

Behavior, right, but.

But she doesn't understand.

She thinks much like job friends.

And the rest.

Of the chapters, all job friends talking they.

They work from a.

Distorted and perverted view of God which is works based and not not correct and accurate in the way that God relates to us.

And and so, in this very thought, in this very suggestion that she gives.

She's revealing that her understanding of God is limited.

It's shallow, she she does not fully grasp.

What real relationship with God is?

Perhaps she meant it as a momentary thing.

Curse God, say a bad word and then you'll die immediately.

Or perhaps she's suggesting curse God not in the sense of in this moment, but abandon God altogether, just completely turn away from God and live the rest of your life in rebellion against God and die in that state.

That's another way too.

What she might possibly be saying here, like, let's just give up on this whole idea of God.

Let's just go do what we want to do because we don't want to have anything to do with a God who.

Is like this and if she is saying that if that is her intention.

Again, it reveals.

Not a depth.

It reveals a lack of depth in her knowledge of God in her understanding with God and in her relationship with God.

And so Jobe says.

It's foolish to think that way.

That's a foolish thing to say to think.

To accept good from God and not accept adversity is foolish and and a deep knowledge of God.

A real relationship with God, a trust and faith in God is not just limited to when God does good things that we agree with and blessings that we enjoy.

But faith requires us to accept from God both good and adversity.

And that is a challenging topic, a challenging subject.

It requires a bit of wrestling.

A depth in a relationship with God, that that goes beyond the superficial understanding of God that.

Job's wife and his friends had Pastor Warren Wiersbe puts it this way. The three friends had a very shallow view of God and of faith and of life.

While Joab penetrated the deep things of God, people who trust a false theology are living a life of illusion that one day will vanish.

There is a need for us to develop a depth in our understanding of God in our relationship.

God and when we miss that depth when we are limited in our relationship to God, understand that it affects us, of course, and we miss out because of our lack of depth in relationship.

With God but.

One of the.

Areas that also suffers is in our friendships.

When I am not understanding God well.

I am going inevitably to be misrepresenting God in my relationships.

I am going to be saying things about God.

That are not accurate, that are not true.

That do not help, and that do not reflect the heart of God in a situation that is in front of me.

The the lack.

Of depth that Joe's wife had and job friends had really adds to the suffering that job experience because he didn't just experience all these things that happened to him.

Then he experienced friends who came around him who didn't know God but spoke on behalf of God and claimed the name of God and.

Brought great pain and suffering to job as a result.

And so, how to show up for?

Friends who are.

Hurting first, it happens way before long before the event happens, long before the friend is in pain.

We need to dig deep.

To seek to know God, to undercover, uncover the the truths of God.

And again, these.

The doctrine that you learn in job is real.

It's deep, it's profound, but it doesn't come easy.

And it doesn't just come, you know, off the surface there there is some wrestling with concepts that you will need to undergo that you'll need to develop.

A skill of conversing with God.

And wrestling with right and wrong, and good and evil.

And why do bad things happen to good people?

And and why are these kinds of things even recorded in the scripture?

And Oh my goodness.

So many things that that we need that like in some ways I would suggest there is no more relevant book for us today than the Book of job like the the doctrine that we need.

Found in here is is so important and so essential for us as believers.

To develop a real and lasting and deep relationship with God so many times we misunderstand.

We have bad doctrine in our heads and in our hearts and like job friends, we think of immediate circumstances as a direct response from God in in regards to sin.

You need to understand God is not right now in this moment on this earth.

Trying to pay people back for their sin.

That that is not God's endeavor. He's not doing that.

Thin was paid for at the cross. The full punishment of sin was measured out at the cross. We need to understand that God's answer to sin is not.

The affliction of this life.

The answer to sin that God has is the cross.

Now that's a challenging thought.

And like I'm saying, this requires some death, you're going to have to wrestle with that if this is the first time you've considered.

That concept well.

Yeah, I understand it's wait, wait what?

And and and it.

Can be challenging for us to accept this idea, but this is the truth.

God is not trying to pay for sin right now.

Pastor Charles Spurgeon

Says if present affliction is not the punishment of sin.

We turn to Scripture and discover what that punishment will be, and we're soon informed that it is something far heavier than any calamities that occur in this life.

There's something more far superior.

That is a judgment for saying far heavier weights.

Than anything that can happen in this life.

This life is not about penalty for sin.

Yes, there are many times consequences lived out in our lives for sin, natural results and things that happen and God uses affliction to speak to us and called our attention.

You know things absolutely all of those things, and I know there's a lot of pieces here and trying to pull them all together.

It's challenging.

You need to develop a deep knowledge of God.

To understand God's issue with sin and how God has determined to resolve the issue of sin.

Job's wife did not understand it. Job's friends did not understand it, and their lack of depth in their relationship with God added suffering to job.

Did not ease his suffering and so if you want to show up for.

Friends that are hurting.

First you need to dig down deep.

Get into the trenches.

And understand who God is.

Learn to know God and even the challenging things that questions.

Perhaps you don't want want to wrestle with?

Perhaps you need to wrestle with those, and especially if you're going to be trying to, you know, spend some time with people who are suffering greatly.

You're going to need to in advance, work some of those things out and learn the truth of what God says in his word.

About the kinds of situations that people are experiencing around us.

Well, I'd like to continue on and on and on, but I need to continue to move forward and look at a few other ways that we can show up for herding friends, and so let's jump to job Chapter 6.

Here's the 2nd way that we can show up for friends who are herding point #2 show kindness consistently show kindness consistently. Here, we're going to look at job Chapter 6.

Verses 14 through 17.

Verse 14 says to him who is afflicted.

Kindness should be shown by his friend.

Even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty.

My brothers have dealt deceitfully like a brook, like the streams of the Brooks that pass away, which are dark because of the ice and into which the snow vanishes when it is warm, they cease to flow.

When it is hot, they vanish from their place.

Job says some interesting things here.

In response to the words of his so called friends.

The words of his friends are cruel, hurtful.

And not helping him.

And so he has some suggestions.

Listen when you're talking to someone who is afflicted.

Job says kindness should be shown.

When you come near someone who is going through affliction and hurting.

He suggests here's the approach you should have be kind and we're like, no.

We want to make people suffer.

Now of course we.

Don't typically do.

Sometimes we do.

That's that's the truth, if we will.

Care to admit it but.

A lot of times we don't intend to add to people's pain.

But because of our lack of depth in our.

Relationship with God.

Perhaps perhaps because of our carelessness.

Perhaps because we misunderstand our role.

We show up and we don't show kindness.

We don't show gentleness.

I mean, we all know.

How satisfying it is.

To every once in awhile, bring out that.

Phrase I told you so.

Right, we all know what that's like, and it's like, oh, it's so satisfying.

But it's not kind, right?

It's not kind.

Notice what job says here.

To him who is afflicted.

Kindness should be shown by his friends, even though.

He forsakes the fear.

Of the almighty

Job says OK.

Let's assume friends the evil that you're accusing me of. Let's assume that I have committed that even though job hadn't, he was righteous from beginning to end according to God's testimony of him.

Let's assume that I had done everything all the evil that you imagine that I've done.

And now I'm suffering this affliction as a result, even if I had forsaken the.

Fear of the almighty.

You know what I should expect for my friends?

We need to hear this and we need to process this and meditate on this as believers because many times as believers we are the worst friends that friends can be.

And we are.

The first to say I told you so and we are the first to say, you know, well you're stupid for disobeying God you knew that was going to happen and now look at your suffering and and we can easily become very harsh and hurtful when someone else is suffering.

Because they've forsaken the fear of the Almighty.

And I would suggest that that we forget our role.

In those cases.

We forget our role.

That there is a place, and I'm not suggesting there's never a time to confront sin or to talk frankly, or to be open about.

You know, some rebellion against God.

There is a place for that, but but we need to develop some discernment to understand when it is time to do that and when it is not you think about the parable that Jesus.

Hold of the prodigal son.

Right, and the father who embraced the son after he suffered all of the things that were predictable for, you know, his rebellion against his father.

But the father welcomes him with open arms, embraces him, and the brother hates him.

And we as believers many times are more like the brother than the father.

But the father represents the father.

The father is more of the heart, that it should be more common experience for those who are hurting in the body of Christ, even if it is for their own sin.

The father represents for us.

And portrays for us the example of kindness.

That we should demonstrate to those who are hurting. Show kindness consistently now. Jogos onion that a couple of next versus to to give an illustration of what's called a Wadi it's WAD Wadi Wadi is a kind of stream that is seasonal.

That it would, you know, be flowing whenever there was snow when it was cold and the snow is melting then then there would be this stream that would be there, and even sometimes it would get cold enough it would freeze over and it would look deep and dark and it would look really like it was a fruitful.

But then when the season warmed up and the snow was melted and it was gone then.

The what used to be a stream is now just a ditch.

Now just dry dirt.

And Jobe is using this to illustrate his friends.

In the good times and the easy times, I thought there was such great depth.

It was like that cold snow and the the stream was frozen and it looked deep.

It has a dark color.

It looked like wow this this friendship has real depth and it's going to be a great source of refreshment for a long time to come.

But when things got hot.

That friendship.

And instead of finding refreshment when my friends came, I found just dirt and dust that added to my thirst.

And didn't refresh me in my thirst.

It's powerful illustration.

And This is why I said show kindness consistently to show up.

Even in the hardest times, even in the hottest times.

Show kindness consistently.

To help herding friends, well moving on to chapter 13.

Now we'll get the 3rd way.

To show up for herding friends, looking at verse four and five years point #3 show wisdom with silence. How good are you at this one? Show wisdom with silence job chapter 13 verse four says.

But you forgers of lies, you are all worthless physicians.

Oh, that you would be silent and it would be your wisdom.

Job calls his friends, forgers of lies and worthless positions.

I think worthless physician is a very accurate description of me.

If there is a time of emergency and medical crisis, please do not come to me right.

We I'm the worst.

I will panic.

I'll faint.

I'll freeze out like I'm just not going to handle that well.

I'm a word.

List physician and you know during the past few weeks, as my wife has been experiencing the the kidney stone and all of the pain and she could testify I.

I think if she were here, she'd be able to say Amen quite loudly that I I'm a worthless fit.

I do not do good and I don't provide much help in that.

Kind of realm.

Job says my friends, you've come around me.

You've tried to attend it to me spiritually, emotionally.

But you're worthless, physicians, you've.

Increased my wounds.

Not reduced them.

And so he laments, he says, oh, that you would be silent.

It would be so much wiser for you.

If you would.

Just be quiet.

Instead of spewing out nonsense.

And lies and things that are not true, and things that add hurt.

Job says it would be so much better if.

You would just learn.

To be quiet and what's interesting about Job's friends is that's how they started right in job Chapter 2, verse 12 and 13, we see that they sat with him for seven days.

And no one spoke a word, and it was the pinnacle of their comfort to job.

As soon as they opened their mouth, it was downhill.

From there they they.

Added to his pain instead of comforting him and so many times it's.

Hard for us to be quiet.

At the same time so many times, it would be wise for us.

To just not say.

But many times in a situation like this, we feel so much pressure and it feels like if only we could provide an answer and it's what leads us many times to offer these shallow, shortsighted, silly answers to people that don't really solve anything and don't add any comfort or relief but actually add to people's pain. And so we spew out nonsense.

And listen, I've gone through hard times in my life and experienced this first hand that that people.

I could say it would be your wisdom if you would just be silent.

I was looking at the calendar and realizing tomorrow.

Is the 18th anniversary of me being ordained as a pastor?

18 years of ministry.

I can say verse 5.

That's a solid verse.

Appropriate for us to memorize so that you would be silent.

And it would be your wisdom, lot of words that we share.

Do not need to be shared.

Do not help the situation.

Do not answer misrepresent God and are foolish.

Campbell Morgan says silent sympathy always creates an opportunity for grief to express itself.

Job's outcry was undoubtedly undoubtedly an answer to their sympathy.

So far it was good.

And they had helped him.

This was back in Chapter 2 when they just sat with him.

They just sat with him and he cried.

And then they felt pressure.

Well, we got to say something we got to.

Fix this we got.

To resolve this.

Let me give you, you know, three quick points that fix everything.

Let me tell you seven things that you can do.

Let me tell you one thing you know about God.

Let me tell you what my Uncle Joe did and and we try to resolve things quickly and easily.

We try to deflect.

And get out of the situation.

It would be much wiser for us many times to just be silent.

Well the 4th way.

To show up for herding friends, we'll find in Chapter 16 versus one through 7.

Point #4 show compassion to comfort show compassion.

If you want to bring comfort verse 16 or chapter 16 verse one says, then job answered and said.

I have heard many such things.

Miserable comforters.

Are you all?

Shall words of wind have an end, or what provokes you that you answer?

I also could speak as you do if your soul were in my soul's place, I could heap up words against you and shake my head at you. But I would strengthen you with my mouth and the comfort of my lips would relieve your grief.

Though I speak, my grief is not relieved.

And if I remain silent, how am I eased?

But now he has worn me out.

You have made desolate all my.

Here job is.

He's continuing to cry out in his grief and in his pain that he's experiencing.

He calls his friends miserable comforters.

And in the church we have.

A good number of miserable comforters.

A good number of bad friends, a good number of worthless physicians, and I apologize for that.

This is something we need to develop in as believers.

To show compassion in order to bring comfort.

Miserable comforters are U-Haul you just keep talking? Will your words have an end? What provokes you? To answer it again, there's that pressure that we feel that we we feel like we.

We have to resolve something.

We have to be proving ourselves right.

Perhaps we have to have something to say.

He says if I was.

In your shoes, if the roles were reversed.

I could easily do what you're doing.

Heap up my words and shake my head at.

You job here is imagining the situation.

If it were reversed and this is a good step on the road to compassion.

Putting yourself in the other person's shoes.

And this is something that job friends were not doing.

They they were stuck in their misunderstanding of God in their shallow view of God.

They felt like, well, this is what I believe about God, and so that must be true and everything else that you're saying can't be true.

So I'm going to have to accuse.

You of great thin right to your face, even though you deny it because.

I can't believe that.

God would allow this and God.

Would do this.

They they did not consider.

What if what job is saying is true?

What if job is righteous?

And still all of this.

Affliction is happening to him what?

What would it be like to experience that?

If that were the case?

Compassion is the idea of being able to feel what somebody else feels.

And that's not something we can do perfectly, but it is certainly something that we can seek to do.

To feel what other people feel and.

Job says if if the roles were reversed.

I wouldn't just keep up words, but I would strengthen you with my mouth.

The comfort of my lips would relieve.

Your grief.

Pastor Warren Brisby says it's too bad that Job's three friends listened to job.

's words instead of.

To his feelings.

They decided to tell job why he was suffering, but they only made his situation worse.

Suffering people need love, acceptance and patience and encouragement.

Not arguments and accusations.

And even many times answers.

They need compassion.

For others to come and feel with them, the things that they're feeling to experience with them, the hurt the heartache.

That they have going on well, finally.

We're going to jump to job chapter 19.

For the 5th way.

To show up for herding friends and that is show restraint in your words.

Show restraint in your words verses one through 6 here of job.

19 says.

Then job answered and said, how long will you torment my soul and break me in pieces with words these 10 times you have reproached me.

You are not ashamed that you have wronged me, and if indeed I have aired, my error remains with me.

If indeed you exalt yourselves against me, and plead my disgrace against me, no, then that God has wronged me and has surrounded me.

With his net.

Job says how long is this going to go on?

How long are you going to torment my soul?

Not only were they being.

Harsh and wrong and misrepresenting God, but they were being long winded about it.

And they were continuing on and on.

He describes, as you're breaking me, in pieces with words.

Great pain and agony added to his situation because of what his friends said and I I would guess that we could all relate to that.

We probably all have stories in our lives of hardship and situations as we're dealing with things.

And and it was made more difficult, more challenging, and more hurtful.

By the things that people said around us.

Listen believers, we need to learn to show.

To hold back, not every opinion we have.

Needs to be shared.

Not every idea that we have should be spoken, not every truth that we know needs to be brought forth in every situation.

Joe says in verse three these 10 times you have approached me.

Now we don't have 10 times recorded here, so perhaps there was even more that job friends were saying that's not recorded here in the book.

But in all of.

Their words, he says, you've wronged me.

Commentator Francis Anderson says, instead of helping the words of his wife and his friends caused him more pain and put him under more pressure than all the things that had happened to him thus far.

Show restraint.

In your words.

Choose carefully.

If you want to help someone who is hurting someone who is going through great affliction, don't just mouth off.

Don't just say everything that comes to your mind.

Don't just be.

You know really proud of.

Well, you always speak the.

Truth, no matter what the situation is.

Be very careful.

Again, there's something very satisfying about saying I told you so, but show some restraint and maybe that's not the thing that God would say in that situation.

And that's The thing is, we were called to represent God in those situations.

And if God tells you to say, I told you so well, then you have his.

Permission, so go ahead but.

If he doesn't.

Be careful about misrepresenting God.

There's a phrase, sometimes we say.

Which perhaps is a good indication of we're saying things that maybe we should show some restraint and not say.

When we say the phrase I'm just saying.

I'm just saying.

Careful, that might be an indication that you just let go of restrain, and so you're just saying 'cause you have no restraint and you perhaps are being foolish in the things that you say.

And if I could just share for a moment, you know this, this is really important for us to consider, even when it comes to things.

That we do as a body.

Let me put it this way.

I'm very careful about.

What I hear from others and then pass along in the form of a prayer request.

And I'm I'm not making the point that you might be thinking I'm making right now.

So hold on, don't jump to a conclusion yet.

But I've heard the sentiment many times.

Over the years.

Many times people are reluctant to share prayer requests.

Not because they don't want people to know what's going.

On in their lives.

But because they don't want to hear the commentary that they will hear.

When that news is shared.

It's not because they don't want prayer.

But it's because the things that people say.

When that per request is shared.

Often adds more challenge and more hurt to the situation.

Listen sharing for me and my wife Kim in the.

Painful situations that we've experienced with the miscarriages.

I can testify there.

We've had more miscarriages than we've shared.

Well, when we share those things you know what happens.

People comment.

And they don't show restraint.

And in the midst of great heard and pain.

Dumb things are said that add to the hurt and the pain.

And if I could just share it, you know we have an app and we have prayer requests that go out on the app and and we need to be very careful as a bot.

That that's not an opportunity for us to espouse political views.

Share this prayer request.

And yes, because you know political view, this, and political view that and add on our commentary, right?

That's not our opportunity to to trumpet ideas or thoughts or concepts that we hold to.

And then we celebrate them that we want to see.

More well known listen if you're friends with a person.

You've perhaps earned.

The right to talk to them about those things.

But it's not an excuse.

When someone shares something for you to promote your agenda and announce the things that you want to announce.

Can I ask, let's let's show restraint in our words.

Let our words be limited.

To the things that are good and helpful. Visions 429.

Let our words be limited to the things that represent God well.

And bring healing and comfort in the midst of a situation.

And not adding on to the hurt.

This is the subject I'm passionate about.

And I could go on for much, much longer, but I won't.

Well, maybe a little bit longer, but.

I'm passionate about it because again, I've been around the church my whole life.

And I have seen the worst friendships.

Demonstrated in the context of people hurting people asking for prayer, people involving themselves in sin and suffering for it and and we can be the worst.

It's often been said, you know, Christians are the it's the only army that shoots their own Woon.

Did right?

I pray as we spend this time in job over the next week or so.

Still reading through the Bible in three years.

Would you allow God to really work in your heart and speak to you about being the kind of friend?

That job is asking for.

Being the kind of friend that shows up with a deep knowledge of God, not a shallow quick off the cuff, you know answer for any situation but a deep understanding of of the complexities and difficulties that are that are found in God.

He is immense and there's going to be much that challenges us.

In our thought process and once we.

Think we have it all.

Figured out God is going to show us.

Actually, you still don't know, right?

Like there's a depth and and we need to be careful not to have all the answers so quickly.

Let's be the kind of friends that show kindness consistently that are not just around when it's easy and good, but in the most challenging times and the hardest times that we can still be there and be kind to the people around us.

Let's learn to show wisdom.

By being silent and knowing when it's OK, I don't have to have the answers.

I know you're.

Demanding the answers from me, but I don't have answers to give you, and so I'm just going to be quiet.

I'm just going to be silent.

I'm just going to try to sit here and be with you in the midst of the suffering and not try to resolve it and fix it right now.

Let's be the kinds of friends who show compassion in order to bring comfort.

We try to put ourselves in the other shoes so believe what is being shared by the other person and experiencing it a little bit with them.

Let's be the kind of friends who show restraint in our words who don't say everything that we think we don't say.

Every truth that we know.

We don't see everything that we want to say.

We choose carefully.

Because we want to bring forth only the things.

That are necessary for edification.

That build up.

And show grease.

To the hearer.

Lord, we want to be these kinds of friends.

We need these kinds of friends in our lives, and so Lord, would you develop us?

Would you grow us?

And mature us.

Would that we would become the kind of friends that job is asking for or the kind of friend that you are to us no matter what situation we face.

But may we receive?

That friendship from you that example from you and turn around.

And deliver that kind of friendship to the people around us.

So those who are suffering for no cause of their own.

For people who are suffering for the consequences of their sins.

Whatever the cause, whatever the hurt is and whatever reason it is their Lord, we pray.

That you would help us.

To be those who are able to demonstrate your love, your grace, your goodness.

Yes, your firmness and times and when that's necessary, but not at the right time.

Discerning from you.

How to minister best to the people around us.

Teach us Lord, lead us by your spirit.

We pray in Jesus name.